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Entertainment RSS FeedsSAG says no to majors' final offer - Front Page: Sticking point: Non-union work in new media -- SAG's national board has unanimously backed its negotiating committee's stance that the majors' final offer is unacceptable because it allows non-union work in new-media productions....Feed Source: feeds.feedburner.com SAG's national board holds meeting - Labor Issues: Guild not expected to take action this weekend -- Leaders of the Screen Actors Guild have been meeting over the contract stalemate with majors, amid muted expectations that SAG will take any action this weekend.... 'Dark Knight' soars over 'Brothers' - Front Page: Fox's 'X-Files' sequel places fourth behind 'Mia' -- Warner Bros.' "The Dark Knight" continued to dominate the box office in its second Friday, taking in $23.1 million from 4,366 theaters and propelling its domestic cume toward $300 million.... XM-Sirius merger approved - Front Page: FCC voted 3-2 to approve the buyout -- Federal regulators formally approved the merger of the nation's only two satellite radio operators Friday, ending a 16-month-long drama closely watched by Washington and Wall Street.... 'Cockroaches' scuttle to E. Europe - Web Exclusive: Lithuania's LNK TV picks up three seasons -- Gallic animation studio Xilam has sold TV and DVD distribution rights to "Oggy and the Cockroaches" in Eastern Europe, following last month's Discop TV market in Budapest.... Paul W.S. Anderson - Videogames News: Producer-director -- Anderson grew up playing "Space Invaders" in his local British arcade. Today, his "Mortal Kombat," "Resident Evil" and "Alien vs. Predator" pics have collectively grossed more than half a billion dollars worldwide.... Cody Alexander & Derek Douglas - Videogames News: Agents -- Tellingly, William Morris VP Alexander and agent Douglas see their roles as "the anti-agent" in a business traditionally ruled by film and TV, "because gaming isn't talent-driven in the sense that movies are, and we help bridge the gap," Alexander says.... Seamus Blackley - Videogames News: Agent -- The former physicist and top-selling game designer piloted the creation of the Xbox platform at Microsoft, and now heads CAA's videogame department, which reps such high-profile clients as Cory Barlog, thatgamecompany, Tim Schafer, American McGee, Warren Spector and Harmonix.... Keith Boesky - Videogames News: Agent -- Back in the late '90s, as president of Eidos Interactive, Boesky took charge of licensing the company's "Tomb Raider" franchise, later leaping to ICM, where he became one of the few agents to focus on the emerging games field.... Lane Merrifield - Games Impact Report: Developer -- Former marketing professional Merrifield fled the rat race of Silicon Valley to the wilds of Kelowna, British Columbia, to raise his family -- a "terrifying" personal decision that left him feeling he'd traded away the chance to make a business impact for the higher calling of fatherhood.... Publishers rule videogame universe - Games Impact Report: Developer Bungie's power play signals change -- The biggest news at this year's E3 show wasn't a new videogame but the fight between Bungie and its publisher -- and former owner -- Microsoft over when to announce the "Halo" developer's new project.... Jerry Bruckheimer - Videogames News: Producer -- The prolific producer behind the "Pirates of the Caribbean" and "CSI" franchises has moved beyond the standard-issue videogame versions of his products. Bruckheimer says he was "hands-on" during the development of Disney's "Pirates Online," a multiplayer world for would-be swashbucklers.... Jerry Holkins and Mike Krahulik - Games Impact Report: Satirists & confab chiefs -- Known to the world as Gabe and Tycho, wiseguys Holkins and Krahulik are revered by fans for their thrice-weekly jokes at the expense of the industry, its games and fans in the web comic Penny Arcade.... Shigeru Miyamoto - Games Impact Report: Developer -- Considered by his peers to be the greatest videogame designer in the world, Miyamoto joined Nintendo in 1977 designing coin-operated arcade titles, revolutionizing the industry with "Donkey Kong" in 1981.... Don Mattrick - Games Impact Report: Publishing executive -- Mattrick, who heads Microsoft's Xbox and Games for Windows businesses, started 2008 at CES by saying he expects the Xbox 360 to lead the year's console sales and dominate the future.... Jon Burton - Videogames News: Developer -- As president of U.K.-based Traveller's Tales, 19-year development maven Burton has presided over two rarities.
As president of U.K.-based Traveller's Tales, 19-year development maven Burton has presided over two rarities. First, tight schedules often make it difficult to develop film tie-ins, but Travellers' Tales set the standard back in 1993 when Disney gave the company an unheard-of seven months to complete the "Toy Story" game.
"That was the first game ever that came out with the film," Burton recalls. And when Traveller's Tales became one of few studios to reverse the trend and acquire a publisher in Lego IP owner Giant Interactive, it gained the opportunity to make "Lego Star Wars" a
15 million-selling hit.
Warner Bros. took note, making its entry into the games biz by acquiring the company for £100 million (about $210 million at the time) last November and putting "Lego Batman" into its pipeline.... George Lucas & Haden Blackman - Games Impact Report: Guru/developer -- As directors are to film, Blackman is to "The Force Unleashed," spearheading LucasArts' much-anticipated, long-delayed new game -- the biggest title of the year on the company's relatively small slate.... Grant Collier, Jason West & Vince Zampella - Games Impact Report: Developers -- "Call of Duty" developer Infinity Ward probably could have done quite nicely sticking to the existing formula for the latest installment in its signature World War II shooter franchise.... Sam and Dan Houser - Games Impact Report: Developers/publishers -- Grand Theft Auto" creators Sam and Dan Houser have no intention of letting their individual profiles outrun their product. The British brothers -- co-founders of Rockstar Games -- shun press, rarely respond to criticism of their games and aim to compete with the cinematic storytelling experience rather than other videogames.... Steve Chiang - Games Impact Report: Publishing executive -- As senior VP and general manager of EA Sports, Chiang oversees the team responsible for some of the most popular sports games in the world, including "Madden Football," "Tiger Woods PGA Tour" and "NHL 2009."
As senior VP and general manager of EA Sports,
Chiang oversees the team responsible for some of the most popular sports games in the world, including "Madden Football," "Tiger Woods PGA Tour" and "NHL 2009." For most of their titles, EA Sports releases new editions each year, which drives a need to innovate at a very rapid pace.
According to Chiang, the brainstorming process for the next installment begins as soon as the current release is locked, with development focused on trying to find that "game-changing feature" that will set the new version apart.
"We try to optimize and give ourselves as much time as possible when planning our next installment," he says. "We want to make it the best $60 a person spends all year."... Step Brothers - Film Reviews: Seesawing from the gleefully stupid to the desperately stupid, ?Step Brothers? is an indicator that the Judd Apatow juggernaut -- which often includes star Will Ferrell and helmer Adam McKay (?Anchorman,? ?Talladega Nights?) -- has made one too many trips to the well.... The Garden - Film Reviews: The life and death of America's largest urban farm makes for a rather ugly contemporary tale of race-on-race conflict, backroom political deals and questions about the viability of property rights in Scott Hamilton Kennedy's blatantly partisan "The Garden."... Kismat Konnection - Film Reviews: It's difficult for a featherweight musical romance to remain light and breezy for 151 minutes, but the disarmingly charming "Kismat Konnection" rarely dawdles long enough for auds to note the passing of time or the padding of plot.... The X-Files: I Want to Believe - Film Reviews: If the first "X-Files" movie landed in the midst of the TV show's run and near the height of its popularity, the second -- far more modest in scope and ambition -- comes six years after the program signed off. Both, however, share a common trait: Namely, neither would qualify as a better-than-average episode of the series.... Bustin' Down the Door - Film Reviews: With verve, style and a fine sense of the human side of surf culture, Jeremy Gosch makes a terrific splash with his debut doc, "Bustin' Down the Door."... First Love - Legit Reviews: The homeless man who narrates the story of his life in "First Love" is the kind of character only Samuel Beckett and his admirers -- thesp Ralph Fiennes and helmer Michael Colgan notable among them -- could love.... Paula's Secret (Paulas geheimnis) - Film Reviews: Nifty kidpic "Paula's Secret" handles strong stuff within a clever, frequently humorous tale.... To Save the World, Bugs Bunny Must Rule It - The World needs a change of leadership, and I believe that Bugs Bunny is just the person for the job. I realize we already have a gang of crazy animals watching over us and ready to pounce: politicians, corporate executives, corporate-owned media and greeting card companies. Bugs Bunny, on the other hand, is a domesticated and tame animal. His agenda would include tranquilizing this organized animal syndicate in order to prevent them from stampeding over the people whom they refer to as ordinary and average.... Men Versus Women - Holy Cow Are We Different - Why in the heck are you singing Christmas carols, having Tupperware parties, baby showers. Guys would never do that. Boy are we different.... Night at the Beach - I was sitting on the beach and happened to notice the sun. It was setting, and it was both colorful and awe-inspiring. I decided to walk toward the sun to touch it; I stopped short, however, struck by a sudden temporary bout of logic and blindness in both eyes ... Dirty Harry Potter - What if you took two of cinemas classic characters and combined them into one action hero? The results would be Dirty Harry Potter. Here's the script for the trailer (coming attractions) of "Dirty Harry Potter and the Lounge Lizards." Note to producers: Let me know when you want to get to work on this potential blockbuster.... The Brilliant Rejection Dating Maneuver - Men it's all about managing rejection -- cold, heart-piercing rejection. If you have had your fill of it or if you have a teenage son about to dive into the seamy underbelly of the chase, here is a sure fire dating maneuver guaranteed to overcome rejection by embracing rejection. It is simply called, "The Rejection Dating Maneuver".... Bet These Stories Are True - Betting is a great form of entertainment and its popularity has spiralled since its birth on the internet. People are now having bets on the most bizarre and surreal situations as well as having a flutter on sport betting, political betting and TV show betting especially song contests. Through the years there has been some outlandish bets made that are the stuff of legend.... A Fitting Name - I've always had an interest, albeit a casual one, in aptronyms; people whose name matches their occupation. I first got the bug as a kid when I met my Dad's friend from the pub, Mr Bung. He used to work in a factory that produced, among other things, sink plugs.... My Eighteen Month Old Little Girl Scares Me - I have two sixteen year old boys. I have one 6 year old son. I have two girls under the age of 18 months. I have learned how to handle the boys. I have a great deal of experience with boys.... CHAPTER 7 - Ms Kitty Kitty Kitty on the Short List For VP - It just had to happen - you knew it especially if you've read Chapters 1 thru 6 on this site. No matter what you may have thought before, Ms Kitty was destined to make the short list for Vice President in someone's mind. It was inevitable.... Stinky Monroe - Harry couldn't have been more than five when he and his father, Walter, visited Pug's Country Store on a brisk Friday morning in April, 1926. His daddy usually made the ten-mile trip alone by buckboard every other week to fetch supplies and, occasionally, get something special for the boys and their mother and some tobacco for granddad. But today he wanted to introduce his oldest son to the city of Clanton, Alabama, and show him the beauty of what the changing of the season had brought to the countryside.... Next Patient Please - At 9:02 AM I walked through the office door of the orthopedic surgeon for my scheduled 9:30AM appointment. Arriving early only ensured that the inevitable paperwork would be filled out, copies of my insurance card made and I could then wait an extra twenty minutes past my scheduled time. As we are all aware, doctors are ... Showing Boxers Can Impede Criminals Eluding Police - I, like most respectable rational people just do not get it. The "it" I am referring to is the fashion trend that leads certain people to allow their jeans and/or shorts to fall half way down their rear end.... Signs That it is Time to Clean Your Fridge - I am by no means a neat person. This list is from my own vast personal experience with the messes. You may have your own. However, if you are organizationally challenged, you WILL relate to this humorous top ten type list!... When Cows Kill - I could write words describing the moohem and destruction of this beast, and do no justice. Even the late great author of "Being There" and "Painted Bird", Jersey Cowzinsky or pop diva Bovinna, who sang and performed Mooterial Girl so beautifully, could feel my emotions regarding violence in the bovine cowmunnity. I don't even think The Boss, Bruce Holstein could (even though he was "BORN IN THE USDA") ... The Greatest Indian Nuclear War - Deal or no Deal, somebody is damn sure to have the last laugh. Who would it be?... Life Can Be Funny - And Should! - Do we really need humor? How important is laughter in our lives? For many years, we knew humor was fun, and laughter made us feel better, but we didn't know the full story. Recent studies at University Of Md. Medical School point towards laughter being not just important, but pertinent to our health, job, relationships.... Employment Handbook - Humor - It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your Salary. If we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers &carrying a $600 Gucci Bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.... I Think That Stupid People Are Stupid - The other day, I was with a friend and we were having a meal at a fine restaurant and the service was less than what we had expected. And then she said the funniest thing; she said, I really think that stupid people are stupid. She was referring to the waiter, who certainly was lacking in many regards. So, I laughed and said ... Staying on the Funny Side - Of Sparky the Cat - The vet said Sparky died of natural causes. Aunt Fern said it was probably something he ate.... Avoid the Funny Bomb - Are you naturally funny? Do you leave your audience rolling on the floor? Or have you every made a "Funny Bomb?" I titled this article "Avoid the Funny Bomb" because I want you to learn from the priceless lessons that I have learned. And yes, even if you are naturally funny, you need to read this article. I am committed to creating a "Funny Bomb Free Society" one person at a time.... Praying For Deflation - While Ben Bernanke, Chairman of the Federal Reserve, is worried about Inflation Expectations, I am just as intrigued by Deflation Invocations. Recently a prominent TV news channel featured a church group that congregated near a gas station and prayed for cheaper gas. My first reaction was amusement but then I realized that this represented a historic first.... Hooked on Junk - Yard sales, garage sales, flea markets; they're as addictive as drugs, alcohol and watching some guy get hit in the crotch on "America's Funniest Home Videos." Read how one man's weekend obsession became a nightmare.... The Dairy Queen Conspiracy - Some people sit around wondering how things get done, while others engineer a plan. It has been said that necessity is the mother of invention, but there is another mom that is equally powerful boredom.... Signs That it is Time to Clean Your Fridge - I am by no means a neat person. This list is from my own vast personal experience with the messes. You may have your own. However, if you are organizationally challenged, you WILL relate to this humorous top ten type list!... Toothless Wonder - Well okay. After having kept my two front teeth intact for decades, I discovered an amazing secret. One wrong bite hitting a hidden menace (a piece of bone) can make you feel young again - yep! About eight years old and awaiting the tooth fairy.... My Life is Harder Because of My Dedicated Server Provider - I am suffering from a lack of excitement and adrenaline rush in my life, so I'm going to take up rock climbing, racing cars and boxing! I am so relaxed, I should be in a monastery. I hope that you can help my situation before it becomes more desperate. I have to catch a plane now, so please excuse me. I'm looking to regain some excitement in my life, so I am going to go skydiving.... A Short Interview With Ben Franklin - Benjamin Franklin was one of the most interesting and amazing figures of the American colonial period. This is a fantasy interview with him, designed to entertain and enlighten.... My Trip to the DMV - One of the first orders of business one needs to take care of when moving to California is to get a California driver's license and California plates. I had reserved a full day for this endeavor, anticipating that it would take at least the entire morning to achieve complete Californization of my vehicle and of all my vehicular activities.... Top 10 Ways to Tell Your Marriage Won't Work - The divorce rate in this country is at fifty percent. Don't become a statistic. Here are ten ways to help you decide, ahead of time, whether or not your marriage will work. Even if you are already married, this list can still help.... Shock Pranks, Electric Shocking Pranks - Are looking for a great prank? How about if you are trying to get back at your friend for playing a prank on you? Maybe you are just trying to be funny and enjoy playing a prank on an unsuspecting victim. No matter what the reason or occasion you are sure to find exactly what you are looking for in a shock prank. When you think of a shock prank your thoughts might go directly to a buzzer. True, this is one of the most common types of shocking pranks played on most, but there is a variety of different ways you can perform a shock trick without your target even suspecting it.... The Sherman Tales - Chapter One - TEFL For the Smart Kids - "Sherm the Worm does not Squirm" Act One Sherman, at eleven years of age, sometimes finds himself backed into a corner by larger, less intelligent children. One day, two bullies trap him on the playground and try to ruffle his feathers. Sherman remains calm.... One Woman's French Foly - Right upfront it has to be said that this is far from being a hard-hitting news piece. And what's more it'll probably only have a limited appeal bearing in mind that among the roll call of names are those that will only be familiar to the French, or French ex-patriots, Francophiles, Francophones and France-watchers. There again there are some that will strike a chord around the globe, so forgive the indulgence.... Pet Jokes and Animal Stories - My Top 15 Favorite - Whenever I get the chance I like to give myself a laugh or cheery thought. I started a collection of jokes that I find funny and sorted them by subject. I've picked out fifteen of my all time favorite animal/pet jokes and I'd like to share them with you today. So if you love cats, dogs, birds sit back, read, enjoy and feel free to share.... Celebrities & Other Animals I Met at the Zoo - I came to San Diego in the '60s without a job - and wound up working in their famous zoo, meeting both human and animal stars from Lassie and King Tut to Art Linkletter, Jimmy Stewart and the world-renowned "chimp lady" from Africa, Jane Goodall. Being close to Hollywood, many stars over the years donned dark glasses and popped in to visit our menagerie incognito, including Andy Griffith, Shirley Temple, Jerry Lewis and Cary Grant (who often stopped by when he was in town for a weekend of tennis). During my seven years as ... 10 Fun Ways to Annoy Beachgoers - It's summertime and you know what that means; a trip to the beach. Make your next trip to the beach a memorable one with these fun things to do.... Bye, George - A text message from my girlfriend early this morning told me the news that George Carlin had died. I immediately felt terrible and rolled back over, wanting to go back to sleep and not even think about the bad news until later in the day.... Ah, Candy and Memories - What Are Your Favorites? - I am now remembering one friend whose name was Motz. He was from Sweden. He introduced me to the "$1,000,000,000 chocolate bar". "Want to eat a million dollars worth of candy?",... Destination: Homosexual - Life is all predetermined. No matter how well you can do downward dog.... Humorous Buzz Words That Get Us to Pay More - Summer is fast approaching and companies are gearing up their advertising plans to convince us to spend more. It can be entertaining to listen to their buzz words. One of the buzz word phrases that have been around for a ... The Beer, the BBQ, the Bat! - My brother, Rick, invited me over one Saturday night for a barbecue and beer. His wife had gone camping with her girlfriends, so it was like our own boys night out. It threatened to rain, but that didn't dampen our spirits and we sat outside.... Life Can Be Funny - And Should! - Do we really need humor? How important is laughter in our lives? For many years, we knew humor was fun, and laughter made us feel better, but we didn't know the full story. Recent studies at University Of Md. Medical School point towards laughter being not just important, but pertinent to our health, job, relationships.... Top Ten Fourth of July Jokes - As far as holidays go, American Independence Day is just not as funny as Halloween, Christmas or Thanksgiving. I base this bold statement on the number of holiday jokes we get from kids. Halloween is the runaway winner, followed by Christmas and Thanksgiving.... Rufus, the Dog Who Went to Church - During the course of someone's career in the ministry, many interesting and unforgettable stories are experienced. Peter and his family would never have imagined that one of their most memorable stories centered on their dog, Rufus.... The Sacrificial Tuna - I love tuna fish sandwiches. My mother made me tuna fish sandwiches. Hence, I love my mother.... The Golden Rule - My first time in a gay bar. This story could also be classified under the category, "True Life Horror Stories."... Dying For a Vacation - Funerals have become so heteronormative. Let's mix things up!... A Fond Farewell - They said till death do they part. If only everyone took their vows so seriously.... Santa Clausowitz - Santa Clause has a secret. And it's not about his bowl full of jelly.... Delegate Your Work to the Temp - Ah yes, the temp; we've all held the title or been acquainted with this person at some point. These breed of workers are best known for their high tolerance for disrespect and canine style obedience to superiors. Since they are temps their state of mind tells them that everybody in the company is their superior.... Fair is a Place - Kids are always whining about how unfair life is. When I was growing up, I was told that "fair is a place where men go to throw cow pats to win prizes". I've also heard "fare is what people pay to ride the bus". Either way, the point is that life just isn't fair; at least not in the way we'd like it to be.... Wherever Two Or More Are Gathered - Driving to pick up my son from a friend's house this afternoon, I saw a group of men gathered in a yard. These men had fashioned a couple of small ramps out of plywood and some other odds and ends. The ramps were facing each other. At the time I was driving by, the men appeared to be standing around discussing how to utilize their creations. I saw this and I was reminded that wherever two or more are gathered there's bound to be trouble.... Recession Proof - What an extraordinary sense of freedom I had this morning after quitting my job. No thought went into my decision. The President has taught me that too much thinking can lead to indecisiveness.... Staying on the Funny Side - Of Kitchen Gadgets - Kelly's weekly hilarious column dives into the world of kitchen gadgets - those products we're convinced we need to have. Join us as Kelly embarks on a journey to purchase the Air Sucker 2000 - which she is convinced will change her life.... The Three Bears - Unplugged - Dad was a man's man and didn't really know that much about telling his kids bedtime stories. So, he would take the classics and give his own hilarious interpretations. As a belated Father's Day card, here's one of them. Mother Goose will never be the same.... Culture is Our Only Weapon - Now more than ever, we Iranian are appreciating our culture whole heartedly. We are now noticing that the only weapon we have is our culture. We need this weapon to fight the darkness that the enemies of happiness try to cover us with. We have got only our culture to survive with, to be part of the future, and to continue endlessly... Dance Moves You Shouldn't Get Caught Doing - No Matter What! - Havelock Ellis once said, "Dancing is the loftiest, the most moving, the most beautiful of the arts, because it is no mere translation or abstraction from life; it is life itself." That said, I'm betting my moolah the following dance moves, collected from various points in a 30 yr old guy's life aren't exactly what you'd call art nor would anyone want to get caught doing it.... Look For a Reason to Smile - Words and phrases such as office and corporate may conjure different sets of images and ideas in different people all over the world. However all of them have one thing definitely in common which is the thought of the mood and atmosphere that are generally connected or associated with a corporate setup or an office space. Description of such ambiance and the vibes being generated essentially varies from serious, stern, forbidding to extreme ones such as cold, aloof, unfriendly and even grim. But, what if lung bursting humorous material is concealed in the same space, which on giving a closer look will surely change people's ideas and notions about the office and corporate atmosphere and portray the gloomy interiors as full of rib tickling stuff that will make even a Laurel and Hardy episode tame beside it?... 10 Reasons Why You Should Never Pick Your Nose - Your mother told you this when you were two bricks and a sixpence high, but did you listen? She had a lot of reasons for telling you to never pick your nose. Maybe these are some of them ... Seven Guidelines to Use Humor in Sensitive Situations - Other sensitive situations, such as loss, crisis, illness, death, disaster, or disability also benefit from the proper use of humor. Not knowing how to respond to this type of humor can elevate the already high levels of stress and tension surrounding these circumstances.... How to Speak in South African Slang - The South African slang in this article has got to be one of the weirdest concoctions of language going. What with kief flatdogs I checked my Bru! Come learn the lingo!... New Airline Charges (Humor) - Due to increased fuel costs, airlines have been forced to cut back on some amenities, and charge for some services traditionally included in airfare. In addition to some of these changes, this list also includes some changes which, I have from reliable sources, are sure to follow.... Mad Ride Operator - Based on true stories about various unsavoury operators in the amusement industry. Unfortunately these people are seen as the true Carny not the clean, well organised operators who are the vast majority in our great business.... Sgt Slaughter, DDS - WWF great Sgt. Slaughter is thinking about a new career. Here's a television commercial script that he might do if he ever took up dentistry.... Why Flying Scares Me - Everyone has some kind of fear whether it be heights, bugs or rodeo clowns. Mine is flying. Find out why you may not want to be on the same flight as me, in this comedy monologue.... Of True Love and the Loss of Innocence - I used to believe in the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, a Just War, Righteous Politicians, Clean Non-steroidal Sports Heroes, True Love and the fact that Lemmings commit mass suicide by following each other off a cliff. So you can imagine my chagrin, my horror and my utter surprise to learn that the whole 'Lemmings metaphor' which I had heretofore always used as a reference for people who go along unquestioningly with popular opinion with potentially dangerous or fatal consequences is, yep, you guessed it folks, a myth, a fabrication, a lie of mammalian proportions. What other myths and fabrications might there be? And how does one remain true when cynicism rears its ugly head? Please read to find the answer ..... Stupid Product Labels - You've seen it, product labels that not only don't make any sense but appear to have been written by morons for morons. The problem is we're not morons. But instead of becoming angry at this direct assault on our intelligence, we use the one weapon we have that not only helps us keep our sanity in any situation, but makes life a whole lot more fun. And what weapon is that, you ask? Why, sarcasm, of course.... Top Ten Fourth of July Jokes - As far as holidays go, American Independence Day is just not as funny as Halloween, Christmas or Thanksgiving. I base this bold statement on the number of holiday jokes we get from kids at JokesByKids.com. Halloween is the runaway winner, followed by Christmas and Thanksgiving.... The Meet Cute is a Rom-Com Staple - Just in time for Valentine's Day, in a theatre review, I had a meet cute with "meet cute," that ubiquitous jargon term of screenwriters pitching their wares to producers. Actually, I'm lying.... There Are No Dirty Words in Korean - I learned to read at a younger than usual age (for that time, at least), and when I was still a child we moved for a couple of years to Morocco, where I learned to speak French (how fluently at age 7 is questionable). Instantly, my mother declared that I was a whiz at languages. I then learned enough Hebrew for my bar mitzvah.... 3 of History's Best Pranks - Mischievousness and laughter is a part of all of us. Everyone loves a comedian! We have genres dedicated to it, and many businesses thrive on making people laugh as well. People from all walks of life, all over the world, prank and joke each other every day.... Staying on The Funny Side of Weight Loss Secrets - Another weekly hilarious column about staying on the funny side of weight loss secrets. You'll never look at spam the same way again.... Federer Needs to Check the Deeds on His Property Portfolio (A Satirical View) - With the recent World economic downturn which has had an impact on the housing market it has come to light that Roger Federer has been inspecting his property portfolio. The business empire that has been built up over the past 6 or 7 years with many properties dotted around the globe is now under scrutiny.... Only in Portland - Maybe it's the weather, or maybe it's just a good day to be a little off. Some of it has to do no doubt with the fact that I work in mental health and these people fascinate me rather than worry me. Whatever it is, only here in Portland do I get to ride the bus downtown, and while waiting for the streetcar get to have a smoke with some guy who is homeless and schizophrenic tell me all about how he is planning on getting his middle finger cut off because a cat bit him.... Putting Meat on the Table - Life on a Texas farm was working, hunting and eating. Mother had a large garden and worked very hard to prepare the vegetables for eating during summer and prepare the rest for winter. Seemed like Dad spent his time working on the other crops, turning over the small hunting duties to me.... Childhood Memories of Reading on the Farm - Reading has long been a major passion of mine, starting at about four to five years of age. It didn't matter what I read, only that I read something. The Bible, labels on cans of food, Burma Shave signs, just anything.... Things You Don't Say to a Cop Down South - Wouldn't it be great if you could say what was exactly on your mind, without fear of recrimination? Enjoy this short play called, "A PSA From Dixie."... The Need For Sense of Humour in Life - What is life without a sense of humor? Man would be nothing but a reasoning animal without it. Many a life has been inspired by the ability to laugh in a tough situation and smile at the miseries of life.... If We Are "God's Instruments" - We Are Playing Out of Tune - The philosopher Karl or Groucho Marx once (and maybe twice) said that "Religion is the opiate of the people." No one had any clue what he meant. Until now.... Joke Writing - Anyone Can Write a Joke - Want to be a successful joke writer? Keep a pen handy and write it down.... The Day I Broke Up With Rachel Ray - I'm not speaking to Rachel Ray. She broke my heart. Find out how in this tearful account.... Clean Comedians Chicago - Having "grown up" in the Midwest as a stand up comedian and now as president of "Clean Comedians Chicago", I know that clean comedians in the Chicago area are a rare commodity these days. However, with the overkill of provocative comedy on cable television, they are making a comeback. Clean comedians in Chicago are ahead of the game.... Comedy in Manchester - Davenport Productions in Manchester are currently working on a new sketch show. The founder members of Davenport Productions are John Thomson (of Cold Feet fame), Chris Gascoyne (of Coronation Street fame) John Draycott and Andy Pope.... Stand-Up Comedy With Funny Man and Break-Dancer, Lawrence Leung - Lawrence Leung has been putting himself on the line as a live stand-up comedian for years and he's still only a young bloke. He has a keen interest in science too, so what do you get when you cross a comedian with science? A break-dancer apparently! Read for yourself his first-hand experience at being intelligently funny.... Orientation at a Nudist Colony - Have you ever wondered what it might be like to sit in a room full of naked people? Here's what an orientation at a clothing optional facility might be like, if Bob Newhart was the orator.... Texas Humor and the Things it Can Do - Texas humor is something that can make you look at the brighter side, more than anything else. The sense of humor Texas have is entirely its own.... The Way to Understand Texas Humor - Texas is popular for a lot of things. But of the many things that are famous there, humor tops the pack. Texas is a very big state. And the people from there pride themselves with all things big.... How to Live in Austin With Texas Humor - The state capital of Texas is Austin. It is the home of true-blooded Texans swearing loyalty to their state. But more than anything, it is the source of many Texas humor stories.... Texas Humor - How to Live it Up in Texas - The fifth biggest state of the U.S is Dallas, a city in Texas. And there has never been a doubt about Texans loving their cities. They tend to be protective of who they are and what they have for all it's worth.... A Dose of Texas Humor For You - Everyone requires a little bit of humor to spice up life. Life without humor is dull and worthless.... 10 Movies You Don't Want to See - Most movie sequels are never as good as the originals and now they are waiting decades before making them. Here is a list of ten we hope Hollywood will never make.... Best & Worst Pick Up Lines - If you're still stuck in 1978 and using pick up lines, then this one's for you. For everyone else, have a few laughs on us. Here in no particular order are some of the best & worst pick up lines (use at your own risk).... An Open Letter to All Mother-in-Laws - Don't you know guests are WORK? Give me my peace when I ask for it!... International Slap Your Workmate Day - My candidate is an Information Technology geek. What do IT guys actually do on a day to day basis? When all computers are working perfectly and the networks are fixed to perfection? They browse and chat that's what. I mean, how many times can you fix a network or service them hard discs?... Losing Yourself in the Middle of a Conversation - There's a well-known saying that goes, "Wherever you go, there you are." It's a good saying except for one thing: It's just not true!... A Shivering Reminder Of WWII - Yesterday morning, I was toweling off after a shower when I begin shaking and shivering uncontrollably. With great difficulty I managed to get some clothes on and made my way to the indoor patio. Shirley brought tons of covers which while they didn't stop my shivering, were certainly welcomed; most of the shivering came from within, hello hot tea!... Does Candy Have a Place in Nostalgia? - What is the definition of nostalgia? According to Webster's, it means "a longing to go back to one's home, homesickness" or "a longing for something far away or long ago". Or how about this one - "longing for former happy circumstances".... Who Does Obama's Hair - Fire Them? - Look, I have no love for Senator John Edwards, the trial lawyer who wanted to be President, but at least he looked like a preppie type on stage. Why? I suppose it's because he pays $600 for a haircut. But then I look at the fact that Senator Edwards endorsed Senator Obama for President, but Obama's hair stylist, well quite frankly if he does have one they suck.... Back at the B Western - Few people appreciate the great contribution the handgun has made to television and motion pictures. What would police shows, for example, be without .38 Specials and .357 Magnums? Imagine police detectives standing around the squad room in shirtsleeves, rifles dangling from under their armpits. Ridiculous!... The Judas Manual - Our recent history has accumulated a record of botched initiatives, uncertain situations and tragic episodes that have led the United States into the road to decadence, universal scorn and national misery. It must be admitted that those responsible took advantage of the ignorance and naiveté of a good half of the American people in order to get elected not once but twice! As we come to the end of this fateful period, we begin to notice the appearance of what can best be called home grown Judases that prey on their protectors, friends and ... The Souvenir Smashed Penny Collector - The Souvenir Smashed Penny Collector Finds Joy For a Penny. He finds adventures and sights along the way. Follow his trek.... Copyright © 2008, Real Estate Investment Tips. All Rights Reserved. |